Al-Qaeda’s Jabhut al-Nusra declines invitation to Thatcher’s funeral...on principle!

In a blow to British foreign secretary William Hague’s prestige, Jabhut al-Nasra the al-Qaeda affiliated group leading the front line against the Syrian Arab Army has now refused to send a representative to Margaret Thatcher’s funeral.

The decision to invite Jubhat al-Nasra was initially warmly received by the group’s leader Emir Abdulla al-Ifreet who added that he was looking forward to his “adventurous” trip to London. More so, he had received assurances from the Emir of Qatar to show him round his shop, Harrods and also his pointless £1.5bn tower, the Shard. “I know the Emir likes London so much” said al-Ifreet before adding, “to the extent that he is prepared to bail out this bankrupt and venal city with subsidies investments in the London Stock Exchange, Barclays, Sainsburys, race horses etc..etc...but as soon as my right hand man, General Noon al-Meem informed me of the British horse meat scandal I was compelled to review my initial decision. How would I know the meat I’m being served is halal, even if it does say halal on the box!”

Upon hearing about the latest withdrawal Hague is said to be “diplomatically disappointed”. Some close aides are quoting him ad verbatim, “Those bloody wogs! After all I’ve been through trying to get them a no-fly zone at the UN and with the Americans, they stab me in the back like this.”

Abdulla al-Ifreet concluded that he will not compromise his principles.