Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Al-Qaeda’s Jabhut al-Nusra declines invitation to Thatcher’s funeral...on principle!

In a blow to British foreign secretary William Hague’s prestige, Jabhut al-Nasra the al-Qaeda affiliated group leading the front line against the Syrian Arab Army has now refused to send a representative to Margaret Thatcher’s funeral.

The decision to invite Jubhat al-Nasra was initially warmly received by the group’s leader Emir Abdulla al-Ifreet who added that he was looking forward to his “adventurous” trip to London. More so, he had received assurances from the Emir of Qatar to show him round his shop, Harrods and also his pointless £1.5bn tower, the Shard. “I know the Emir likes London so much” said al-Ifreet before adding, “to the extent that he is prepared to bail out this bankrupt and venal city with subsidies investments in the London Stock Exchange, Barclays, Sainsburys, race horses etc..etc...but as soon as my right hand man, General Noon al-Meem informed me of the British horse meat scandal I was compelled to review my initial decision. How would I know the meat I’m being served is halal, even if it does say halal on the box!”

Upon hearing about the latest withdrawal Hague is said to be “diplomatically disappointed”. Some close aides are quoting him ad verbatim, “Those bloody wogs! After all I’ve been through trying to get them a no-fly zone at the UN and with the Americans, they stab me in the back like this.”

Abdulla al-Ifreet concluded that he will not compromise his principles.

Monday, 21 January 2013

Balfour Declaration – Ain’t Nothing to do with Napoleon!

The land of Lord Balfour hosted a rare but much needed conference on his infamous 1917 declaration. The event was convened by the appropriately named organisation, the Palestine Return Centre (PRC) on the 19th January 2013 in London.

It is rare because not only is the ‘Balfour Declaration’ and its brutal ramifications greatly understudied but the entire period of British total military and political dominance of the Middle East between 1917 and 1948 is more or less whitewashed from contemporary discussion. Yet, if we are to fully understand today’s Middle East there is probably no more an important period than this.

The declaration let it be known Britain’s “view with favour” the establishment of a national home for the Jewish people in Palestine and its commitment to use “best endeavours to facilitate the achievement of this objective.”